“Shhh…did you hear that?”
“I don’t hear anything,” I said to Thane, watching him lower his head even more towards mine. It continued towards my chest where he laid his cheek gently against my collarbone.
“Shhhh. Listen. It’s beating so smoothly. Just for me.”
I smiled shyly. He was always saying romantic things like that. Even before I got him hooked on chick flicks, although I think even that was just an excuse for him to come over and spend time with me. My parents loved Thane almost as much as I did, though neither of us were quite convinced at first. Thane was one of those boys who started out toilet papering your house and in a few years was knocking on the front door of it asking out the girl who wasn’t quite as geeky as he remembered from grade school. It was the summer after high school now and Thane had been more regular at our house than my Grandma after her third bowl of oatmeal. I honestly didn’t know how to respond to his statement, but I thought maybe some mutual teasing might be what he was after.
“How can you tell?” I asked.
His head lifted and his eyes met mine. “I know what it sounded like before we met. Broken…unsteady…unsure…”
“And what makes you think it’s any different now?” I could feel my pulse racing and it was anything but steady. His voice had not reflected the playfulness I thought he was going for, and I gleaned that this wasn’t just any playful conversation despite it being a late Friday night.
“Your eyes. They’re like windows. Once curtained and shut off from the world…now wide open for those that long to see inside.”
“And what do you see?” I asked.
“The world. My world.”
Get your prompt and have some “fun this friday”
March 26, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Ooooh, nicely done! I like it! You took the prompt in a different direction, and I like that. I wouldn’t have expected a romantic twist.
Adam Byatt says:
March 27, 2010 at 4:49 pm
A great romantic vignette without being cloying.
I loved the description of the boy’s change in how he shows affection. And Grandma’s bowl of oatmeal made me laugh.
Great dialogue. Very natural.