Never Surrender

It's time to Surrender!  No, I'm not giving up. Except of course the occasional free time. But I'm no quitter, as you'll soon find out (if you're new to my blog and don't know me very well). It's the release of Surrender by Elana Johnson and in honor of her new book she has issued a call.

This is me answering it.  About a time I refused to give up on something, no matter what. And from what I hear, it's a pretty good story. And it's true. Every word.

It began 23 years ago when I started college. And ended last month when I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree. Finally. It was a long, hard road lined with a lot of boxed meals, but baby I kept going until I got to the end. And I brought my family with me. In fact, they're not only the reason I put my education on hold, but the very reason I finally finished it.

It started the night my husband and I got engaged, and the sad realization that there wasn't enough money for us to both attend school simultaneously. I offered to work to put him through school first, seeing as how I wanted to be a stay at home mom eventually anyway. ☺ He promised that I would one day get my degree.

Well, we had four children by the time he got his PhD in Chemical Engineering and I was pleased to have supported our family during that time using my well-honed typing skills (sadly for things other than writing) to work from home while raising our children. I was happy. Proud of myself. Yet always in the back of my mind was the dream of having time to write again…and going back to school.

Two weeks into our new state, new home and well paying job my husband says, "Okay, now it's your turn." I looked around at the moving boxes and listened to the screams from upstairs and laughed in his face.  I said, " I know what you're saying, but now’s not the time. I still haven’t finished unpacking!”

Fast forward two years and my life looked something like this.

• With Child number 4 and 5 in tow I head off to college to register. I love my children but I NEED something more than diapers and Barney. Online classes are my new best friend.
• Number 6 arrives shortly before my sister in law (and her young daughter) who will live with us while her husband is at army bootcamp. She wants to help out, so I decide to sign up for a semester course…crammed into two weeks. I attend class, nurse my six month old, study and sleep. I get an A. And my sister in law cooks the entire two weeks. I’m liking this going to school thing.
• Child number 7 necessitates my taking a break. Not because she's difficult, but because I'm just too darn busy being Mom. :)
• Two years later I’m back at school. The oldest are now big enough to help watch little ones and I’m taking face to face classes during the summer while everyone is watching cartoons. And Facebooking.
• It takes 7 years for me to complete my Associates degree. We throw a party and celebrate this milestone. I decide to take a year off to write and to spend a little more time with my five year old—during which time my mother passes away. I hear her voice in my head that says, "Finish school."
• Six months later my youngest is old enough to attend public school, so I go back. Full time. I’m done taking my time and there’s nothing to hold me back. Except that I have 7 children who still need me…but also a promise.
• My husband drops everything in his personal life to help me study, fix dinners, and help kids with homework while I’m doing my own. I still try and be Mom, and sometimes succeed.
• I ask my husband multiple times 'why I am doing this? My life is nothing but stress and more stress as I juggle so many roles.' He says, “You’re doing it so I can keep my promise to you.”
• I buck up and get back to work. I get into the Creative Writing program on the first try.
• I try and speed up my education by writing a Senior Honors Thesis in place of a minor. It’s also good practice considering I’m an English and Creative Writing major. I graduate Magna Cum Laude with a printed Honors Thesis ready to grace the University library. And my shelf. ☺ 
• I finished my last two years in two years, thanks to the patience and love of my awesome family. They were all in the stands when I walked across the stage.

I worked my butt off.  I slept very little.  And my husband kept his promise to help me succeed.  To never give up. Never surrender.

Karen Adair

Bachelor's in English/Creative Writing

University of Houston

May 2012