Monday, June 11, 2012

Never Surrender


It's time to Surrender!  No, I'm not giving up. Except of course the occasional free time. But I'm no quitter, as you'll soon find out (if you're new to my blog and don't know me very well). It's the release of Surrender by Elana Johnson and in honor of her new book she has issued a call.

This is me answering it.  About a time I refused to give up on something, no matter what. And from what I hear, it's a pretty good story. And it's true. Every word.

It began 23 years ago when I started college. And ended last month when I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree. Finally. It was a long, hard road lined with a lot of boxed meals, but baby I kept going until I got to the end. And I brought my family with me. In fact, they're not only the reason I put my education on hold, but the very reason I finally finished it.

It started the night my husband and I got engaged, and the sad realization that there wasn't enough money for us to both attend school simultaneously. I offered to work to put him through school first, seeing as how I wanted to be a stay at home mom eventually anyway. ☺ He promised that I would one day get my degree.

Well, we had four children by the time he got his PhD in Chemical Engineering and I was pleased to have supported our family during that time using my well-honed typing skills (sadly for things other than writing) to work from home while raising our children. I was happy. Proud of myself. Yet always in the back of my mind was the dream of having time to write again…and going back to school.

Two weeks into our new state, new home and well paying job my husband says, "Okay, now it's your turn." I looked around at the moving boxes and listened to the screams from upstairs and laughed in his face.  I said, " I know what you're saying, but now’s not the time. I still haven’t finished unpacking!”

Fast forward two years and my life looked something like this.

  • With Child number 4 and 5 in tow I head off to college to register. I love my children but I NEED something more than diapers and Barney. Online classes are my new best friend.
  • Number 6 arrives shortly before my sister in law (and her young daughter) who will live with us while her husband is at army bootcamp. She wants to help out, so I decide to sign up for a semester course…crammed into two weeks. I attend class, nurse my six month old, study and sleep. I get an A. And my sister in law cooks the entire two weeks. I’m liking this going to school thing.
  • Child number 7 necessitates my taking a break. Not because she's difficult, but because I'm just too darn busy being Mom. :)
  • Two years later I’m back at school. The oldest are now big enough to help watch little ones and I’m taking face to face classes during the summer while everyone is watching cartoons. And Facebooking.
  • It takes 7 years for me to complete my Associates degree. We throw a party and celebrate this milestone. I decide to take a year off to write and to spend a little more time with my five year old—during which time my mother passes away. I hear her voice in my head that says, "Finish school."
  • Six months later my youngest is old enough to attend public school, so I go back. Full time. I’m done taking my time and there’s nothing to hold me back. Except that I have 7 children who still need me…but also a promise.
  • My husband drops everything in his personal life to help me study, fix dinners, and help kids with homework while I’m doing my own. I still try and be Mom, and sometimes succeed.
  • I ask my husband multiple times 'why I am doing this? My life is nothing but stress and more stress as I juggle so many roles.' He says, “You’re doing it so I can keep my promise to you.”
  • I buck up and get back to work. I get into the Creative Writing program on the first try.
  • I try and speed up my education by writing a Senior Honors Thesis in place of a minor. It’s also good practice considering I’m an English and Creative Writing major. I graduate Magna Cum Laude with a printed Honors Thesis ready to grace the University library. And my shelf. ☺ 
  • I finished my last two years in two years, thanks to the patience and love of my awesome family. They were all in the stands when I walked across the stage.
    I worked my butt off.  I slept very little.  And my husband kept his promise to help me succeed.  To never give up. Never surrender.

    Karen Adair
    Bachelor's in English/Creative Writing
    University of Houston
    May 2012









    25 comments:

    1. I'm just in awe that you did that when you had so many kids. It's crazy enough in our house getting their homework done, and I only have three kids. I would never have managed what you did. Though seeing me do my homework might have been more of an incentive for them.

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      1. Thank you SO much Stina! It's true that my kids didn't complain very much about their homework seeing as I always had ten times as much. :) It did help me remember how stressful it was for them though, so we had a lot of ice cream reward nights. :)

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    2. Karen, this is so cool! You inspire me. How did you like the University of Houston overall? How did you like their English/creative writing program? My son graduated from UHD Business School. I think I'm headed there, but I need to start with Lonestar College, I think.

      Oh. And, my response to Elana's challenge is here: http://amindwandering.blogspot.com/2010/09/sdl-cure-for-perfection-my-response.html

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      1. Oh, Thank you Penny! I loved the University. The professors were first rate; no surprise considering the program is ranked 2nd in the Nation (I believe). :) I learned SO much. I started out at Wharton, which suited my needs perfectly. Good luck to you!!!! You can do it!

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    3. Way to go! I just applied...hopefully I'll be finished in 2 years. Your post inspired me. :)

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      1. Thanks MTeacress! Woo hoo for you! You can do it!! So happy for you future graduate!!!!

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    4. Wow, that's awesome. You have definitely sacrificed and worked your tail off. You deserve it. The majority of people would have quit a long, long time ago. While I don't know you, I am certainly proud of you and your husband. What an awesome story and one I will share with my students. Thanks. Now following your blog.

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      1. Thank you SO much Jeremy for your thoughtful words. I am thrilled you found my story worth sharing with your students. *squeal* It's SOOOOO important to get an education. For so many reasons. Thanks for the follow! :)

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    5. Wonderful and inspiring story...Wow, that is a big family you have.

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    6. Stopping by from the blogfest...Congratulations! How inspiring - your family must be so proud of you! You must be so proud of yourself. And did I read 7 kids? That's an accomplishment in itself! Thank you so much for sharing your story. *new follower*

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      1. Thank YOU so much, Kimberly! Yes, seven children. :) I feel so blessed. Thanks for the follow!

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    7. Go you! You a story gave me chills. I've been widowed and remarried and dealt with my hubby's health issues. I've taken college classes in every community I've lived in. I've substituted learning to write for the Bachelors.

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      1. *blush* Thanks, Donna. It was a wild and wonderful ride. I applaud you for your continual journey in writing. Go YOU!!!! This was what I personally needed to do, but like they say...nothing makes for a better writer than the practice at writing itself. :) Good luck!!!

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    8. This is such an amazing story. Not only is it YOU not surrendering, but your husband, your 7 (SEVEN?!) children, and everyone around you. What a great picture to have to show for all this hard work! Congrats!

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      1. Thanks, Elana! And yes, I owe so much to my stubborn (aka, loving) support group. :) Congratulations on your latest release. SO excited for you!!

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      2. Oh! And thanks for the follow!!!!! MWAH!

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    9. Wow! What a story! I'm so impressed by you and your hubby - what a great team you must make. Congrats! :)

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      1. :) Thanks, Jemi. Yeah...I couldn't ask for a better teammate than my husband. :) Thanks for stopping by (and for the follow)! :)

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    10. Wow, 7 kids!?! I'm tired just reading about ya! What an inspiration you are!! ~ I'm a new follower--thanks for making me smile today:)

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    11. You're right...its a good one!!! Kudo's to you...and your hubby! :)

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    12. Wow. I don't even know you, and I feel like I should tell you I'm proud of you. This truly was an amazing example of not giving up, no matter what. Congrats on your degree!!!

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    13. Well, I'm impressed. I can't imagine going back to school while raising 7 kids, let alone the 3 I have! :-) You and your husband make a good team!

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    14. Wonderful story!!! I have a friend with four kids who dearly wants to finish her degree, I might send her the link to this.

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    Tell me how you really feel. Come on, I Dair YA.