Friday, July 30, 2010
Friends who lie
I've been lied to. Again.
For years now I have endured a tenuous relationship with someone who claims to be my friend. Eager to help me out, though often gets me into even hotter water.
The first lie was annoying. The second was a little frustrating. The third made me look at my husband and wonder how we had acquired such an annoying acquaintance. Meanwhile I wasn't quiet. My friend and I had words. I tried to fix the problem. I was determined that either we fix it or dissolve the relationship.
Yesterday I was about to call it quits. It's lie made my daughter late for a party. Now, let me tell you this, anyone that knows me knows it's all about my kids. They're my life. My joy. They rock so much more than my friends and are so much more important to me. So when a friend betrays my family?
I get ticked!
All the way to the party I was griping about my friend, and my daughter and I talked about whether or not it was worth it. The friendship, not the griping. I felt totally justified to gripe. Alas, we came to a conclusion. Either accept the friend for the lies and learn to work around them, or let 'em go. Let my friend go? Could I do that? Was that the best way to work out a relationship? Or should I work a little harder and try and change my friend. Again.
I knew what would happen. I'd only be betrayed again. But we'd been together so long and my friend really did offer me an immense amount of help. From time to time. In fact, I never notice a problem with our relationship until I need it the most. I rely too much on it and forget that it lies from time to time. So who is my friend, that I would put up with such nonsense?
Yes. My oven lies to me. Often. The first time I realized the clock was slow I got annoyed. The second time was a little more frustrating because I was telling my kids the time and they kept correcting me. Of course I realized the error and blamed the oven. It still made me look bad though. Incompetent somehow. And then yesterday it made us late for a band party/rehearsal. Bad. Very bad. I got really frustrated that I couldn't rely on a digital clock to keep time for me. A DIGITAL CLOCK folks. Aren't those things supposed to be like...digital?
The countdown for cooking seems to work fine, so it isn't until I forget that the actual time on it runs 10 minutes slower than all the other clocks in the house that I get frustrated. Aargh. It did get us to thinking though about how the same thing applies to friends and relationships. If we find out that we're being lied to over and over again, do we end the relationship? Replace our friend? Or should we try to fix the problem and work things out. After all, they have so many other good qualities or we wouldn't have stayed with them for so long.
So what do you think? Stay or go? The friend, not the oven. I've already decided to keep the oven. For now.